This first thing I have to say about the topic…IT IS DIFFICULT!
Being pregnant in itself is not easy for some.
Having a healthy relationship of any sort is not easy either.
Put the two together and wow can things go wrong pretttttty quick!
Out of wack hormones, exhaustion, cravings, new aches and pains, PLUS running a home, having a job, preparing meals, attending to children, and on and on and on!
Too many times marriage is left at the last of the list and the husband is left feeling unattended and detached.
It may not be anyones fault but the hormones, but as children of the Most High we have to always have His Truth and Wisdom in our hearts. As difficult as it may seem in certain situations, keeping our hearts in His Word will carry us through the tough times of marriage while being pregnant.
Our Story:
With our first pregnancy, my husband and I were freshly married after a short dating period. So getting to know each other happened while pregnant. I definitely do not recommend this for anyone! The person you are while pregnant is not the same!
I had to learn what ticked him off and try not to do it. He had to learn what a pregnant woman was like and be extra sensitive.
Preparing meals and keeping the home tidy was easier without a child, yet while pregnant every task seemed more difficult. This was definitely not pleasing to my husband. Some men are more understanding than others so I’m just sharing our experience, it was definitely difficult for both of us.
Some recurring issues during pregnancy included: bickering over little things, exploding over nothing, being quick to rage, not forgiving easily, holding onto bitterness, wouldn’t hear each other out.
The good thing was that we both knew we were committed to each other. So we never threatened to separate or divorce. We never cursed at each other or hurt one another, there has never been any abuse in any way shape or form! Praise The Most High for that! So if you are going to those kinds of struggles in marriage, pleeease seek professional help!
Second and most recent pregnancy:
Compared to before and now with a child already in our lives:
We are both better prepared and experienced to deal with the struggle of marriage while pregnant.
Yes there are still struggles! We are more comfortable with each other, we have learned how to talk to one another.
I have learned how to juggle being a mommy, running a home, being forgiving and loving through all the hard times.
He has figured out how to juggle work, being a daddy and being a husband and love it all.
Who do you love more? Your partner? Or the thing you’re fighting about? Love you partner more and choose peace not arguing!
So how have made it this far?
Here are my top Tips for Strong Marriage during pregnancy and postpartum
First tip: Read scripture alone and as a family.
Seek ye the LORD while he may be found, call ye upon him while he is near. Isaiah 55:6
A strong relationship with our Father is THE most important thing you can ever have. Make Time for Him and He will show you how you can have peace and balance in all your ways. Find this in your OWN walk only!
Secondly: The following lists are resources which have helped me and my husband along the way and recommend to others.
Keep in mind that these recourses or people are not perfect either, they are sharing how The Most High has helped them and how they’ve managed to keep their marriages going in love 😉
Books:
Online:
Next Tip: Forgive! Be quick to forgive and move on!
For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you Matthew 6:14
Lastly: LOVE! Read 1 Corinthians 13 as much as you can, memorize it if you have to! Find scripture songs to help memorize scripture and sing them when you feel weak, angry, sad, etc.
Love suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil
What are your top tips which have helped your marriage?
Amen as we grow closer to the Lord we grow closer to each other. Here is my marriage tip: fall in love with lord together. Pray together, pray alone, pray for each other, and read scripture together.
Thanks for the tip! It’s so true, once we united in prayer, worship and study, we had less and less problems! Praise The Most High!
Always realizing that neither one of us is perfect, and that my spouse would not do anything intentionally to hurt me. This has helped us.
Ah yes, indeed trust! That’s very much needed! Blessings on your marriage Rose!
I’d echo your points, and the other commenters… and then add: Encourage each other – talk about the future in a hopeful way, even if it’s not going well right now and be that extra support to each other because you’re a team.
We also had our first child quickly (we celebrated our first anniversary in the hospital – no champagne for me! 😉 ) and being a couple was hard that second year. I’d go so far as to say that it was the most difficult year out of the 33 we’ve been married. But it all got much better. And continues… 😉 Though life has it’s challenges and we still need to work on being connected as a team, this marriage “ride” is wonderful!
Thats a great tip Lori thanks so much! Its true for us, whenever we talk about the future and hopes and dreams, we get excited and happier, and therefore kinder to each other! God bless you!